Second Time
by Windymist
Summary: She is pregnant, but the baby is not hers, an extraordinary story of high school sweethearts who were broken apart by fate... not many people get a second chance at love and even cupid is afraid of hitting them with an arrow when the other person can barely sit in the same room without plotting how to roast the other one's liver. A.U.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

'Please don't let her die', a blonde said.

'You are not gonna die', I stated holding Yukino's hand

'Nothing will happen to you'.

'No, please you don't understand'. She said desperately trying to make me understand.

'I am gonna die, I have a brain tumor , surely you know what that means . You are a doctor.

'My husband has tried talking to every damn doctor there is in the world'.

She was definitely bluffing, but I didn't point it out.

'Please don't say this'.

I am a doctor, a senior surgeon. I knew all about her condition. Having only 2 months to live, she was panicking.

And as if god couldn't have punished her enough. She was 4 weeks pregnant.

So in simple words, its not only about her dying but about the baby too.

I am a doctor. I have watched people die, almost everyday.

But this was different.

This was Yukino we are talking about.

She was what water was to a desert to me.

Like a ray of sunshine.

I remember being a cry baby when I was a pre schooler. And I also remember her cheering me up with sweets. Its magic you know, how sweets can heal anything for a 5 year old.

She would come to me, even at the slightest wound of her heart or pride and I would know exactly what to say that'll make her want to beat me up.

This bond, between me and her was unbreakable. She was like my shadow.

Until, I had to leave my hometown

And she... Well…

She belonged from a very rich family background and went to London for higher education

And I came to Seika high.

She was a true friend.

Would keep on standing in the rain, if I needed her. And I would return the favor.

So when I saw her after 6 years,

Nothing really changed.

We greeted each other with the common nick names Yuki and Misa, and created a scene in the airport.

Hugging and crushing each other to death.

Laughing loudly; smacking each other

The passerby's stopping and staring at us.

I've missed her.

You need a best friend in life. A person you can tell anything to.

A person, who doesn't judge you, just cause you got wasted once.

A person who understands you.

Or even if they don't they sit next to you and tell you.' Keep on crying, I still have 3 boxes of tissues left, you see'.

She was Yukino. My best friend

In my 27 years of life, I have never ever felt this hopeless or scared.8 years of being a doctor and couldn't save my Bff's life. Life was cruel and I didn't know what to do.

'You will be okay'. My voice choked.

'Oh! Shut up, will ya? I already know I am gonna die, why fight it'. She tried to joke ,failing miserable at it.

I wanted to cry, to break down. To scream at her; You can't do this to me.

Even when we were miles apart, it feels nice that you have somebody to call at midnight and complain about how sick the world is.

It feels really good.

The idea that she might not be in this world, the only person who would call me a bitch and throw food at me, just cause I pissed her off, is horrifying.

'NO!'

I can't let that happen.

'Its not me I am worried about', she choked.

'I want you to do me a favor'.

I pretended to gulp down something,

She never asked me favors, it was always, "You own me bitch. You have to Do it!"

'I recently read an article, on baby transplantHow the mother died but the baby still lived.'

'Where are you going with this?'

'I want you to do a transplant'

I stared at her and she waved her fingers at me.

'Yoo-hoo... Anybody home?'

'You do understand the meaning of the word transplant, don't you?'

She rolled her eyes, 'of course'

'You wanna change wombs. The baby, even if you die, you want it to live'.

'Yup!' She nodded.

'Wow! That's a fine idea'... I was impressed

'I can do it. But I want to meet the person, whom you are giving this responsibility to. I'll have to run some tests and see if its ok with her'.

'Well, I think she is. she spoke'.

'Who are we talking about', I narrowed my eyes. 'As far as I know, u don't have any sisters'.

'Why, you of course', her finger pointing towards me.

'For me, it felt like, she had just declared world war 3'.

I gaped at her.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

She said, nothing

God this is crazy.

You can't be serious,

Cause if she is, I know I wont be able to refuse.

'No! I can't do this, you can't do this to me'.

'Please'. Her eyes were filled with tears.

'I...'

She knelt down before me, I am begging you her, the room felt very small, as if there was no place to hide, to run away.

'I am begging you'.You are the only one I have. The only one I could trust with my angel'.

I could feel my resolve breaking down

'She deserves to live, to live a happy life. Not be killed, just because her mother isn't strong enough to give birth to her'.

She was pathetic.

'I cant,' I whispered.

'I am dying here Misaki'.

'Think of it as my death wish and didn't we always said that we would be our kids god mothers.

Please save my child'.

Her hands were joined and I started crying too.

I didn't say anything but I guess she already knew my answer.

Isn't that a power, best friends have.

_2 DAYS LATER…_

I might have agreed to this nonsense, but there was something I tottaly overlooked at that moment.

In April 2005, Yukino got married, I couldn't celebrate with her, cause I was down with the flu, or I said so. She has never forgiven me for missing her wedding.

The reason I didn't attend the wedding because, she was getting leg shackled to my ex- boyfriend.

Usui takumi

Bam bam bam.

Majorly known as Takumi walker now.

She didn't know, about my little high school affair with him, because if she did, the wedding would have never taken place.

That must be the only thing I didn't tell her about me.

If I am am gonna give birth to her child, then it also means I'll have to put up with her husband.

Yup! Life's a bitch.

I had the test results in my hand, and they were normal. It means that I am gonna conceive her child.

The surgery was schedules after 4 days.

I groaned.

'You're husband is okay with this'?

'Uh... he doesn't know'?

'WHAT?'

'I was gonna tell him about the surgery today, he's gonna meet me at should meet him,

You guys should talk, get to know each other, after all you will have to put up with him, when I go'.

I didn't mention the fact that I already know him.

'Don't make it sound like you're going to some honeymoon'.

I shivered, thinking about him.

I haven't seen him in 7 years, after the time he left me in Japan and went to London and after 4 years got married.

The biggest blow came when I realized that the bride was Yukino.

I was tensed and not to mention a little scared.

He loved her.

I know, he is not the type of man, who would say it and not mean it.

I know all this, thanks to my Bff.

I can't possibly imagine how he would react to this.

**A.N- Ohk... I am back with a new plot, to tell you the truth I got this ides from a TV serial (Hitler didi) the Indians might know. I really don't know, if the transplant crap is possible or not but hey, when they can show it on national TV. I guess I can use it on ff.**

**THERE IS NO USUI IN THIS CHAPTER, but I'll make it up to you on the next ones**

**So, bear with me.**

**R&R.**

**Love **

**Windy**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Misaki fidgeted in her chair, and she definitely was not hungry. How could she eat, when he was right there, in front of her?

Someone would say seven years is enough time to get over a high school sweetheart. But no; he could still make her uneasy, still make her confused and still make her want him.

She looked at him then looked at her food, then again looked at him, all this time either takumi didn't notice or was pretending to ignore her. She didn't know which was worse.

'So, the other day, I run into Kim in Victoria's secret and she was holding the same item as me, and she started blabbering all about how our tastes are alike'… Yukino chatted on oblivious to the building tension between the two very secretive adults.

None of them said anything, Misaki even choked on her food.

Talking about lingerie during lunch, not a good conversation starter.

_I shouldn't be blushing_, _God; this was just a piece of cloth, a very scanty piece of cloth, she reminded herself. We are mature adults, its no big deal. Then why the hell is my face getting so heated up? It's not something I don't talk to my Bff about, if it was just the two of us I would have definitely commented something like 'you are gonna die soon, why do you need a lingerie'._

_But no, here I am turning a beet red. Someone would say it has a lot to do with her husband._

Takumi looked at her with an expression which hovered somewhere between amazement and amusement. She was 27 and still couldn't take a lingerie joke. She hasn't changed much.

He couldn't believe his eyes when he first saw her; she looked breathtakingly beautiful in that pale yellow dress. Her hair was longer and her eyes different, there was a depth in it. They looked sad. And he hated to think that he might be the reason that her beautiful golden orbs ever become moist.

She might have forgiven him, but he couldn't forgive himself.

He had been miserable for 4 years after he left her; it hadn't been fair on her part. He should have given her an explanation, should have at least said good bye. But he did none of those. At that time he thought that this might be the right thing to do, he was right, she was a successful doctor, and her life was great. He was glad that he didn't drag her into the walker family. They would have ruined her. He missed her everyday, her smile, her eyes, her pouting lips and her anger, Her Everything. But he knew he couldn't come back, cause if he did, there would have been consequences, and he'd do anything for her safety. Time passed and he concentrated on the company and in 4 years it had reached a new level of excellence, one of the most influential companies in Great Britain.

And slowly her face began to drift away, she was still in the back of his mind like an unforgettable part, but he decided that she'll always be there. She was a part of him now.

The biggest shock came when his grandfather had declared that he will be getting married to Yukino.

He had already decided he won't see Misaki ever again, but marrying somebody was different, there was no going back, and it was permanent. His fate was already sealed.

So on April 7th he married Yukino, she was beautiful in that white dress, but every part of him had wished that it was Misaki

Life with Yukino wasn't hard, she was funny, sweet and caring and most of all she understood him, she knew when to leave him alone with his thought, when to drop the subject, how to make him laugh. He loved her, as a friend, as the only person who understood him and also as a wife. He would lay down his life for her if she'd asked him to,

Life was good, everything was going smoothly, but the rainbow doesn't last always. He sweared he could feel his heart breaking when the doctor declared that she was on her last stage of cancer. The pregnancy only made it more difficult. He didn't want the baby. Well, he did, but not as much as her. She was his angel; she balanced things in his life. And she had become a constant. Life without her would be empty.

It was a blow when Yukino told him about the transplant; he tried talking her out of this. He couldn't do it, he was scared, and how could he take care of a Baby alone. But as usual Yukino got her wish, saying something like it was her last wish. He still couldn't believe he agreed to this nonsense. But he didn't want her to die like this. He could feel the pang in his heart, as he thought bout her not being in his life.

He didn't want anything to do with the person who was gonna give birth to his child, he only wanted Yukino. Some friend she said she was. He only wanted his baby and no one. But still Yukino had made a point on seeing her, because well, she thought it was polite.

His whole body had turned cold when he first saw her in that pale yellow dress. What was she doing in London? Thousand of possibilities of what he should do flashed in his mind, should he greet her? How will she react? Will she be happy to see him? Had she got married?

His brain was blowing up, so he decided to ignore her, maybe she wouldn't see him but then as if on cue, Yukino waved at her and called out "Misaki".

It took him a full 5 minutes to process everything.

Fate was playing a cruel trick on him, Misaki Ayuzawa, was gonna give birth to his child, did she know this. WHY? WHY? WHY?

He cleared his mind from his thoughts, what Misaki and he had been the past, he was over her.

'Excuse me', Yukino said getting up from the chair

'Where are you going'? Misaki panicked

_Leaving her alone with him was not a good idea._

I am going to the washroom, unless you want to join me you are free to come, when Misaki didn't answer Yukino left.

'A penny for your thoughts' he smirked. That was the first proper sentence he had spoken to her all afternoon, excluding the usual formal greetings.

My thoughts are worth a lot more, she grumped not looking into his eyes.

'So'…..

'So?' She looked up at him.

What made you agree to this claptrap, He's voice was serious, there was no mistaking the hint of aversion in his voice, and why should he be pleased? , his wife was dying and the little infant inside her would be placed into hers. Her? Hers of all people.

She looked up to him 'I don't know'.

I don't know, what a stupid answer, but it was true, she didn't know herself why she agreed to this crap, of course Yukino begged her and emotionally blackmailed her , but was it really the reason she decided to do this. She doubts that.

'Hmm...' he considered her answer, he decided not to pursue it further, he was scared for what she might reveal.

There were a thousand things he wanted to say to her, ask her about everything. But he was just so scared, her presence was as fragile has flower, one day u see its in full bloom the other day no one would even know that it existed.

He didn't even know where to start, well; you could start by saying sorry, a little a part of his brain said.

_Sorry? Sometimes sorry isn't enough. It just isn't._

Sorry? it was too small a word. It won't make her feel better not him. He didn't want to go back to the past, how could he?, when his past has become her future.

'I am not doing it for you, you know?' She whispered in a small voice.

For a second he didn't realize that she was talking to him. His eyes widened, he couldn't imagine that she had just said this.

'I know'. . His voice was slow, grave even.

The tension was building up, it was more that ever. Where the hell was Yukino, she knew better not to leave them alone for such a long time? Misaki decided to concentrate on the two teenagers besides them, they were definitely a couple. She didn't want to pry but, there words were loud and clear.

'You know I'll never leave you, I love you Ana.'

'OH! Charlie, I love you too!'

She surprised her urged to smile, there had been a time when she was in their place and maybe at that time it felt like the most romantic thing ever said in the history of mankind. But they are just words, promises, which are meant to be broken.

And she wished that maybe and hopefully they don't end up like her.

'Are you married'? His question brought her back from her reverie,

Why was he asking her this?

'No',

'Why'?

What a stupid question, deep down she knew the question was not stupid, he was simply curious or maybe worried.

Worried? Yeah right. She snorted. That simply "why" had the power to make her look back at everything that has happened in the past 7 years.

Eventually she thought of riley, he was her senior and her good friend and deep down she knew he wanted to be more, but she just couldn't do it. How could she explain, why she never dated any guy after him to him , when she didn't know the answer herself. Was it because of him? She guessed not. She hoped not.

She kept quite, not answering anyone of my questions. I wish I knew what she was thinking. She never got married, was it because of me? He sweared under his breath. Has he scarred her for life?

Both of their vicious thoughts were interrupted by Yukino.

Missed me? Her eyes gleamed in some secret only she possessed.

The rest of the lunch went smoothly; none of them said another word to each other.

That night for the very first time in seven years, she dreamt about him, his blonde locks always a bit too long, his emerald orbs, his smile, oh that smile. She slept soundly.

Where our heroine was sleeping soundly, our hero had trouble falling asleep, he turned and tossed and them finally went to his study to get a quick drink.

All of his feelings were in turmoil, and he felt incredibly confused, he didn't even know what he felt confused about.

_Days passed and the day for the operation come closer, leaving the three of them, realize feeling that they all had murdered 7 years ago._

**A/n: windy here, all done with the second chapter. **

**Takumisa: this little brain has got so many ideas, hehe... A special thanks to you for reviewing first.**

**Redflower789: well, I hope that this chapter answers all of you're questions. And if u still have any doubt P.M me, I am always up for chit chats.**

**Lee yu koh: don't worry dahlin, I'll make sure that they end up together. :P**

**Perfectly imperfect: like you're name ****, and thanks.**

**May96: yes ma'am. Will do.**

**Celeste: thanks, I definitely won't disappoint you by dropping this fic, and thanks so much for reviewing.**

**Vongola16: here it is, the third chappy will come out, god knows when.**

**Well, that's for now. **

**As always,**

**Love**

**Windy**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

She breathed in and out, taking each breath with sheer agony.

'Get the oxygen tank now' someone screamed.

'Charge 150'

'Nothing'

'250'

'No response'

'300'

'Sir, we're losing her'.

'Don't you think I don't know that Damn it' a certain someone in a white coat raked his hands through his hair.

I tried to open my eyes, can't these people keep their mouth shut for one single damn minute. At first there was an unbearable pain, now I couldn't even feel my lips.

My whole body felt numb. I tried to lift my arm, but felt nothing.

There was a strange calmness, tiredness flowing within my body.

The realization that I was gonna die hit me like a thunderbolt, this is probably how death felt like.

I don't wanna die, no one wanted to, but I know that I was wishing for the inevitable, my only regret was that I couldn't to hold my child with my own hands. Something I knew was never possible.

Takumi, I just wish that you wouldn't hate me or our child.

'Scalpels' the doctor screamed.

I wish I could tell this people to stop trying, I knew I was gonna die anyway.

Its strange, everyone is scared of dying, but once one knows when, the moment you realize it, Either you go mad or you accept it.

I hugged death like an inevitable phase of my life, something I had no control over.

I am glad that I am leaving the people i loved more than my own life in someone else's care.

Misaki…

How is she? Takumi Usui was petrified, exasperated and scared. He had been asking the same damn question for the last three hours and the only answer was

'We're trying our best sir', the doctor was scared, Takumi looked outraged to the point of tearing down the whole damn hospital, and the surgeon knew he had the power too.

He hadn't been able to sit down, walking down the hospital corridor for the millionth time.

He was scared Misaki, Yukino.

Damn, he hated Yukino at this moment, he knew she wasn't strong enough for the whole operation, still, no one seems to listen to him, and the fact that Misaki was involved in this made it worse.

She was risking their lives, hers and Misaki. He had nothing to do with that thing inside yukino..

After all, none of them would have been in this place if it wasn't for that damn thing.

A doctor exited the operating theater; he jumped up and went to him

Doctor, how are they?

'The baby is fine'

'I don't give a fu*k about that thing' the doctor seemed confused after all , which father said things like that, on top of that he had to tell him the tragic news too.

'Misaki Ayuzawa is alright, and the transplant was successful,

But…'

'What?' Takumi barked

'We couldn't save your wife'. Her heart was too weak, she couldn't handle the pressure. I am sorry.'

That was the day Takumi's Usui's world collapsed. He wasn't able to say anything for the next three minutes.

His hands grabbed his collar, 'you are supposed to be the best surgeon in the country, and you couldn't save a single person.'

'Sir, we had already told Ms. Yukino that the operation was a huge risk, it could fasten her death. But it was her wish that we do it any way. We tried to stop her, but she just wouldn't listen.'

Takumi, released his collar, and put both of his hands on his head.

Not even once, she didn't even bother to tell him that it could kill her. "As if you would have let her do it" his subconciosuness mocked him.

'Can I see her?'

'Sure follow me', the doctor led them to a room where Yukino was kept.

He wept that day, held her hands wept like a baby,. It was his demand that he'd be left alone with her.

'I am so sorry' he told her, he didn't knew what he was saying sorry for but it felt like it was because of him that she was dead.

'I am so sorry'

Misaki opened her eyes,  
'where is Yukino?' she asked a nurse who was fixing her IV drop.

The nurse seemed worried, confused even, as if thinking each word carefully before saying them out loud.

'Her heart couldn't take the pressure and it collapsed' the nurse said void of any emotions.

It took Misaki a full minute to process it, she can't be, no. it was yesterday that she was laughing and cracking jokes and now, dead.

She felt like crying but no tears came out, she dropped back into the bed.

This was impossible.

Why? she cried out .

She skipped her bed, I want to see her now, she tore all the pipes that were joint to her flesh and started to leave, the nurse panicked, 'madam please , you are not allowed to leave the bed, please lay down, you are not well'. she didn't listen, she just wanted to see her, her whole mind screaming that it was not true, that maybe if she saw her, she'll be able to save her.

'Ma'am this could be harmful for the baby',

She stared at the nurse as if she had grown two heads until it hit her, Yukino's baby. Yukino's and Takumi's child was inside her that was the reason she was here. She slumped back into the bed, placing her hand on her abdomen. The nurse secured the tubes again. 'I'll call the doctor, that you're awake'.

Her baby, she stroked her stomach. No, not yours Yukino's , never forget that the fact that Usui Takumi had nothing to do with you , it was Yukino he loved.

She broke down, huge drops of tears rolled down her cheeks. She cried for the loss of her best friend, for the unborn baby and for Takumi , only she had seen the how much he loved her, and it'd be a miracle if he didn't hated her now. After all this was her fault that Yukino died.

Takumi entered her room, 'are you alright' his voice seemed to fill the whole room.

She turned around 'you are a mess'. With his unshaved face, grave eyes and untugged shirt. Anyone could say that he didn't sleep for hours. But most of all what troubled her was the way he held himself, like a old man, like he had given up.

He only stared at her, without saying anything.

'How are you' she asked..

'I am not the one on the stretcher you know' he grunted.

Misaki let out a hollow laugh.

'I am sorry.'

'For what', Takumi seemed confused, it was his fault that Yukino died not hers.

Misaki turned against the wall, not able to face him.

'I should have stopped her; I tried just not hard enough'. Shame filled her soul as she thought about how Yukino had made her agree to her wishes, how she had made her sign her own death certificate.

'You did everything you could, plus you know her, once she had set her mind, she's likely to listen to anyone.'

'But still…'

'Oh, drop it Misaki if anyone is to be blamed it should be me.'

'No! Don't ever say that' Misaki couldn't even imagine the amount of pain he was going through, guilt it something that no medicine could heal, and if Takumi thought that he caused Yukino's death than he's only hurting himself.

'At least you'll have a part of her with you.'

'Are you kidding me, after it killed Yukino you really believe that I could live with that thing, I couldn't even bear to look at it.

Misaki gasped, 'Takumi.. You-..' all words seemed to die at her throat as she saw his face which was filled with pure hatred and disgust. What had they done to the fun loving, calm outer space alien. He was not her Takumi. He was a monster for even blaming an unborn baby for his mother's death.

'How can you even say that Takumi , you're his father, the only living parent and stop calling it "that thing".'

'I hate it' his words were simple and pure dripping with poison.

'What do you suppose I do with him? If you're like this, who will take care of it.'

'I don't know, nor do I care, not my burden that is'. He said pointing toward her abdomen.

'What?'

'Kill it, if you want to, or better, let it live with the burden that it killed his own mother, let it live very second of his life regretting the day he was born.'

Misaki, couldn't believe her ears,

'Get out', she screamed,

'What'?

'I said get out'. If he didn't leave this room this instant, she was sure she was gonna do something that might send her to jail. Yes, she was that mad.

Takumi left abruptly,

How can anyone be so cruel that they could kill their own child or let them live a life filled with guilt?

'Don't worry little guy', she said to the little bump and stroked it, 'it doesn't matter if you're papa is being a hardcore jerk, I'll always protect you, no matter what happens. It was a promise that she'll never dare to break'.

**A.N.- on request I've decided to publish my fics faster, yes I have started another fic, until you're mine, check that out.**

**So how was it, I was really nervous bout this chapter cause I've never done a chapter before where usui was a total asshole, but hey, he's still the heartthrob for all of us..**

**So REVIEW if you want the next chapter soon.**

**And to someone who gave me quite a nice idea, yes the idea was quite awesome, but honestly I have already decided how to go with this fic.**

**Takumi stayed with Yukino for seven years, so its kinda obvious that he'll develop some feelings for her, yeas he still loves Misaki something he'll realize in the later chapters. So stay tuned.**

**Thanks to those who reviewed. Windy loves you all**

**As always**

**With lots of love**

**Mist **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Good morning, Beautiful" Misaki Ayuzawa glared at the honorific, but didn't bother correcting him, like spices on sea, it was simply useless.

"Why do i get the impression that you are about to kill someone" , the 26 year old snapped her amber eyes in his direction . Thoroughly annoyed

Only to face the black haired devil in front of her, he had actually made it impossible for her to be in a good mood, most of the people avoided him but she always heard the nurses and the doctors and even the recipients talking or gossiping about him, daydreaming even. She never would understand how girls thinking process went, you are practically rooting for a guy who doesn't give damn about you, or doesn't even know you exist.

"What do you want Riley", half of the staff called him Dr. Hudson, not only because that he was one of the best and the most respected surgeon in that hospital but also cause he had the tendency to scare everyone away with his glares, he didn't believe in ideal conversation and found most of the population entirely boring and annoying . But to Misaki, he was Riley, it came naturally into her lips as breathing.

He always had this tendency to snap at just everyone but not this raven haired girl.

Meeting her, he realized that love could actually be possible when he once called her an annoying nurse for correcting him and getting a solid punch in return.

He really didn't wanted to test her ire now.

She was like his favorite cookie, sugary yet salty at times.

For her he was just THE-ANNOYING-BOSS-WHOS-ONLY-JOB-IS-TO-ANNOY-HER.

He loved the fact that Misaki Ayuzawa could snap at him being his junior when most of his colleagues avoided him.

'Good morning my foot' Misaki grumbled inwardly.

She had woken up with an upset tummy and puked right after she had finished brushing, and at breakfast even the smell her favorite meal drove her over the edge, so she had to make do with juice. And the fact that she had vomited thrice after coming to work and that her fellow surgeons told her to go take a rest getting all of them worried for her. Her work seemed to be over loaded and she wasn't able to concentrate on anything.

She was extremely annoyed and was on the verge of tears and also felt like beating someone to pulp.

Huh! so NO! Her damn morning was not at all good and she didn't feel the least bit beautiful after vomiting for the third time.

Phew!

She could tell him all that but knew it'll only make thing worse , so she concentrated on the work ahead.

She knew the signs of pregnancy and she was going through all of them right now.

Jesus Christ!

She was pregnant, it still seemed too far fetched.

At the age of 26 she had already decided hat marriages and babies were not for her, she wasn't gonna marry some guy who's gonna break her heart in the end, she had too much of her heart breaking for this lifetime.

But, of course when she saw her patients hold their new born in their hand and the joy she felt when she finally had brought a life into this world was magnificent.

But she had already made up her mind about marriage, a big NO!

But she couldn't deny the pang of jealousy she felt handing those sweet babies over knowing that those small rosy cheeked angels could never be hers.

Over the years she had told herself that she was better off alone .

But THIS was mind boggling.

She didn't wanted to think about what she'd do with the fetus inside her. And Takumi had already refrained from taking responsibility. That bastard. And there was no Yukino to tell him other wise,

Her thoughts were heading in a dangerous direction and the last thing she needed was an headache accompanying her nausea.

"Stupid, asshole, self centered, unscrupulous , pig, louse,.."

"That's quite a vast vocabulary you have there love"

She hadn't realize she had started speaking out-loud, had she already said too much?Hell!

"I hope they're not directed to me!"

She sighed in relief , probably not!

Hell would break lose if he knew that she was pregnant. Thanks heavens she hasn't started showing yet!

She gulped and looked at him, he was frowning down at her.

"Don't you have some patients to attends to", she asked , desperately trying to get him off her back, the last thing she needed was him worrying over her.

He worried too much already,

Where were you last week?, he asked totally ignoring her question,

"umm, I..."

Misaki had guessed he would ask her that also knew there was no getting away with it , he never misses a thing, and she also had made a very good excuse but why was it so damn hard lying t his face now?,

It felt like she had lost her voice.

"You know.. umm.. you see, my mother is sick so I went to see her,"

"you went to japan last week?"

Drat! She had totally overlooked that fact,

"I mean no.. she actually came to visit me!"

"But you just told me she's sick, "

"yes, well she became sick after coming to England you see, the weather doesn't suit her!" Misaki breathed in and out, not even a 5 year old will believe her.

"I understand" he said with deep meaning, not believing for a second of that sick mommie story, you just have to look at her and know what a bad liar she was with all the stammering and blushing and those beautiful liquid eyes filled with guilt,

But he didn't dare question her anymore, whatever the matter she didn't wanted to tell him, well, whatever he'll take it out of her anyway later.

"You are not very good at lying you know that." His voice mocked her.

She looked down knowing lying wasn't any good plus she didn't know why but she didn't wanted to lie to him.

A fresh wave of nausea hit her and she rushed to the bathroom,

Riley was holding her hair keeping them out of her way as she emptied the last can of orange juice into the sink!

After she had calmed down, she leaned near the toilet her whole body slouched,

Riley handed her a glass of water!

"Go home !"

"No!"

"you will go home, and I will drive you there!" He thundered , the one thing he couldn't bear was Misaki over working herself.

She should know her limits too.

No! she didn't wanted to go home knowing that tomorrow she'll feel the same way , so might as well get used to the nausea.

"Yes!" He ordered

"What in the world is your problem, I told you I am fine, I can very well take care of myself, I don't need the likes of you telling me how to take care of myself .I am not you puppet so you can stop ordering me now!

Misaki burst out, weeks of anger and desperation coming out as she struggled with the tears which were threatening to fall.

"Go away and leave me alone" she said weakly, her body not cooperating with her .

Riley took her face in her hands, "you are not well, my love!

He whispered into her ears holding her , and without a warning Misaki Ayuzawa fainted dead into his arms.

Misaki wasn't the type to swoon, but even she knew she had her limits, she had over worked herself again as she vaguely remembered her last words to Riley, she had snapped at him for something, she groaned he didn't deserve her anger, and she didn't knew what had came over her that time, all she knew that she was breaking, and there was no one.

She opened her eyes and saw Riley near her bed, checking her charts.

Just what she needed.

Congratulation Ms. Ayuzawa , you are 4 weeks pregnant. You could practically see Moe flowers radiating from him

She gulped , behind this fake smile she knew he was restraining himself from launching at her , blowing her head with questions,

she had hurt him, but he didn't matter? Did he?

"Riley you know..." she started but he stopped her.

"Well that explains the nausea, and the mood swings and god knows how many symptoms you've been having but as a doctor you should have been more careful , don't you think".

"Well your results are fine, a good night's sleep and you'll be fit as fine."

"But".. Riley said deeply staring at her charts .

"What I don't understand is the fresh surgery you've been through ,its advised not to go through any surgery when you are pregnant, and being a doctor you should know that." he said with a frown.

She didn't like the way he was addressing her.

"I can explain" She finally said.

"Only if you want to my love", and for the first time Misaki thought that the 'my love 'was filled with sarcasm not love.

"I have all day, I could sit beside you 24-7 until you tell me whats exactly going on with you. I could even follow you to your apartment or better I could shift there".

Something in his voice told her that he was not joking when he said it.

Misaki dumped her head in the pillows, mother of god how will she explain what happened to her and seeing Riley she didn't think she could lie anymore and personally she couldn't think of any better lies than ' hey I got knocked by a guy who I met in the bar'

she knew he'd never believe it.

Riley stared at her dumb struck, " You did that for a friend, oh for gods' sake you can stop being a martyr every once in a while, being kind is good but you have just gone over the top this time, do you have any idea what people might say and think about you. I don't know whether to laugh at your stupidity or slap your back".

"Being a bit supportive and stopping your sarcastic remarks will be a good start"

So this what happens when you tell someone about your condition.

Apparently they freak out, And make you feel extremely miserable.

"Misaki.." he started in a soft voice this time, what you did cannot be undone the least you can do is take care of yourself and that baby inside you.

She wondered for a brief moment how Riley had called Yukino's baby, a baby unlike her arrogant , son-of-a-bitch-husband.

What happened, your mood suddenly it went from depressed to I am gonna murder someone tonight- angry"

Misaki didn't bother replying to that,

"What are you going to do after the baby's born , I mean obviously you'll return it to his father but don't you think its a little weird for him"

Weird? He's practically crazy.

"He doesn't want the baby"

"WHAT" ?

"He's an asshole". Misaki said wiping a lone tear from her face thinking about how Takumi had told her to abort this child she hoping Riley didn't notice it ,

but he did, Unfortunately

"Misaki , look at me he took her face in his hands. I know this is a tough time but a guess from where I know you, you are not going to abandon this baby"

Misaki started into her blue eyes hoping how could people be so different, there was Usui who wanted to kill his own child, his flesh and blood, and here's Riley s caring about a baby who has no link with him what so ever.

"But you know something, Riley continued I will always be with you , no matter the condition, and if you want I'll even help you with this child's upbringing,"

Misaki's head started annoying her again,

What what he saying,? What did he mean when he said 'I will help you with the child.'

Was he insane or something?

"I just hope that the bastard wont create any problems? I mean yeah he decided to abandon it and all but surely he could create some troubles?"

It took Misaki a whole minute to realize who Riley was talking about.

Maybe we should sign deal with him and maybe even give him some money so that he's satisfied, he kept on speaking until he stopped when he saw Misaki's face.

"Why are you smiling? Am I that hilarious?"

She shook her head.

"I was thinking how much do pay someone who ears 20 times more than our annual income combined".

Riley mouth dropped into a huge O ,until finally his eyes narrowed

"who are you talking about?"

and Misaki sighed.

"Takumi Walker"

**A/N: 'sup folks, sorry cause you must be thinking what the hell is going on here but you know Usui had acted like such a jerk that I really felt like punishing him so here ,**

**I created Riley Hudson, black hair, ice blue eyes which are mostly cold to other but never to out favorite heroine Misaki Ayuzawa,**

**a total charmer with the ladies, in other sense , near to perfection**

**sorry those who don't like it,**

**I 've realized jealousy is always the best medicine.**

**It was fun creating someone who could stand a chance against the blonde alien.**

**You'll be seeing more of Riley and more of a jealous Takumi in the upcoming chapters.**

**let me know whether to liked it or not.**

**P.S: I wont be giving up on any of my ff's anytime soon. **

**R&R**

**Love **

**windy**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It didn't take long for Takumi Usui to realize that not only had he acted like a sickening moron but also that he had made a huge mistake .

Had he really said all that to Misa?

If he had, There was only one word to describe his situation.

Screwed.

His head hurt like hell, the alcohol from previous night didn't get along with his empty stomach.

Right after leaving Ayuzawa alone in the hospital he had gone home and drowned himself in a bottle of whiskey.

He groaned as more flashbacks coursed through his head.

He had actually told her to kill the infant.

What kind of father does that?

A father who doesn't want his own child to breathe

A pissed off angry father, who had just lost his wife.

A father who was not ready to become a father. Not yet. Not alone.

But these were no excuses for what he said to her that day, and he knew it's a matter of time that he met her and apologize for his atrocious behavior and figure out what to do with the fetus inside her.

Misaki was pregnant with his child, there was a time when that had been his greatest wish.

Her tummy round and soft;

He groaned audibly at the image.

His greatest wish didn't feel so great at this moment at all.

Misaki Ayuzawa was not his wife. She had nothing to do with him.

Except that she did. It was his seed inside her.

She was going to give birth to his baby.

His!

Life's a bitch.

And no matter how many times her raked his nails through his hair, no matter how many times he said it aloud to himself it still didn't seem to get his head around the bloody fact that she was pregnant because of him.

No, that wasn't true; they all were to be equally blamed. Him, her and Yukino.

Maybe this was all a disgusting nightmare and its only a matter of seconds before he Woke up.

He stared into the empty side of the bed, a strange melancholy filling him.

He was so used to Yukino's presence that her absence felt almost unreal. As if all of this was a nightmare.

He missed her, her throaty laugh, her addicting smile; her twinkling blue eyes that reminded him of stars and her lips that were the perfect imitation of petals and most of all her aura which lifted even his darkest moods.

It had only been 2 days that he buried her so why did it felt like a hundred years?

Sitting here, lying in bed wouldn't solve any of the problems in hand, he needed to take the initiative, and he needed to talk to her.

He freshened up with only one goal in his head.

Saint Andrew's hospital

Every one has choices in their life, no matter how big or small the decision we make, its advised to look at it in every direction.

Even Misaki Ayuzawa had two choices, but for her, both the choices lead to a dead end.

The first choice, which wasn't really a choice, was "Riley"

Ugh!

She dreaded to think about him.  
Any girl would have been in love with him, he was smart, a brilliant surgeon, kind with a obvious sense of humor.

But she didn't love him, as much as she tried, she just couldn't.

He had confessed to her twice already, it had been appalling, he was always so patient with her and it hurt her that she couldn't return his feelings.

Things would have so much simpler if she were married to him, simpler bur not better.

She didn't love him. She might never love him

But he understood her, knew her, made her smile but most of all he loved her.

Really, a girl couldn't ask for more.

But not for her.

She believed in true love.

A love so strong that it'll make you bleed.

Finding a person who would get you so mad that murdering him would seem like the only option.

A person who can deal with her most aggressive side.

A person who is not afraid to hold her hand when the whole world was against her.

A person who would love her when she didn't even wanted to love herself.

A person who would take her breath away.

Someone who was like water to her.

Someone she couldn't live without.

She wanted to laugh at her stupidity. These sorts of fantasies didn't exist in the real world.

But she carved for that kind of love, and the pain felt more real because she once had that sort of love..

_Takumi…_

And before she knew or could control it, fresh tears started running down her cheeks.

Damn these mood swings.

She couldn't explain why she was crying. Hadn't she cried enough 7 years ago?  
Cried cause of him, cause of his betrayal.

His betrayal was one thing she could never forget.

Why was her life so complicated? Why did she have to meet him again after so many years?

Why was it so hard to try to love someone who was so irrevocably in love with her?

Her second option was being a single mom. And the more she thought about it the more tempting it seemed.

She could do it. Her mom had to take care of two kids alone, it would be surely hard but she could do it.

Raise a baby of her own;

Takumi had made it very clear that he didn't care, so she didn't worry about that. There's a high possibility that she might never see him again.

For all she knew he might have left the country.

A Nurse entered her chamber.

Ma'am, someone wants to see you! And as if on cue her pager blinked.

"Tell him to wait; I think I might have an emergency."

And his voice filled the room "This is an emergency".

**A.N.- forgive me for this short chapter. Next time I'll do better.  
**

**Please support me with your reviews.**

**Thank you for sticking with st till now.**

**Windy loves you all**


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